salaam

Dear public & inappropriate Diary,

WHAT DOES IT MEAN when you're awake at 7am because you can't sleep and you hate your life but it sounds so cliché and you don't understand and you can't understand and you want to run but you're so tired and it makes you want to die but you're lying because you don't want to die but you want to see what would happen and how everyone would feel if you do but you know how stupid that sounds and you feel ugly and you're sick of looking at yourself but you can't stop because you're hoping it will change somehow but you want to learn to fly but you're told that it's impossible but you're told everything is impossible at least all the things worth doing and you're so alone and you hate everyone but you want someone to talk to so it's all a lie? 

It doesn't mean shit.

Remember when you were a kid?...Of course you do. Specifically, do you remember when your ambition was to grow up and make your dreams come true, because you thought that was what adults did? I remember, I can't speak for you, but I remember.